For the Love of Gagh
by kissmedarling
Summary: An exploration of gagh.
1. Gagh and Trills

For the Love of Gagh.

Disclaimer: Don't own. Which sucks... except for the not owning gagh part. And yet here I am writing about it. Mostly because gagh is a funny word. _lolz_, I'm sure.

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The love affair had begun just a few weeks after she was joined. For several days Jadzia had been craving something. She's assumed that it was icoberry juice, but four glasses and a couple thousand itchy spots later she had ruled out cowberries as the thing she craved. It then occurred to her that it was something she - Jadzia - had never had before. But what?

She was still adjusting to her memories. Was it a Ktarian Chocolate Puff perhaps? Jadzia was relatively certain that Emony had adored them. Of course, it could have been a black hole... Goodness was it Curzon or Torias that had first drank it? Probably Torias. He was a pilot after all. Then again, maybe Curzon... he was Curzon after all.

Neither food was it, however. She tried them both and she tried many, many other things. Jadzia was nothing if not determined to find out what it was - and to eat it no matter what it was. It had become a symbol for her journey of integrating everything Dax was into herself.

A friend jokingly suggested that it was gagh. And something had clicked with Jadzia. It was gagh, wasn't it? The thing she had been craving, wanting... needing, even. Quickly she'd gone out to find a Klingon restaurant. There was one somewhere on the Trill home world. She could practically feel Curzon guiding her to it.

When she took that first bite Jadzia knew she was in love. Was it wrong to love something this much? She didn't know or care. She was in heaven.

Read and reveiw. Much love.


	2. Quark and gagh

"Is there something wrong, Jadzia?" cooed Quark from behind the counter. He was, at least partially, genuinely concerned. Here was a gorgeous creature, sitting at his bar... looking sad. It was one thing when an ugly person looked sad, in Quark's opinion. They were ugly, nobody paid much attention. Morn, for example. But when a pretty person was sad... well, everyone noticed. And that distracted them from gambling. Quark would have to make her feel better. Much better. For profits sake, you know. Any... thank you he might receive would be extra. And it would be extra welcome.

"It's... the gagh, Quark," she said glumly, poking her fork into the dead worms, "They're replicated. Replicated gagh is no good,"

If an ugly person had a complaint like this then Quark would have done nothing. But... it was a pretty person. It was Jadzia.

"Well, I'll have some shipped in," for a price, he thought to himself.

"Really?" she perked up immediately, "Quark, sometimes, you're the greatest," she was onto his little game, and she was walling to play along. She got off the bar stool, reached out and stroked his ear ever so lightly. "Thank you, Quark,"

And with that she headed out of the bar, glad she would be getting gagh soon.

"No, thank you, Jadzia," Quark muttered to himself.


	3. A Date With Gagh

Julian was more than a little apprehensive. He'd never had Klingon food before, and quite frankly he was scared to it. When he was eight he'd had a nightmare about eating a targ. It had still been alive. He could only hope that Jadzia ordered something for them that was dead. Very, very, very dead, if possible. As dead as Klingon food could be.

"Hi, Julian, sorry I'm late!" Jadzia walked up to him. He was waiting for her outside the restaurant. There was no need for him to get even more worked up over her choice of cuisine..

He scarcely noticed as she ordered, his eyes were focusing on all the dishes that people were eating. He was only brought back to their conversation when she asked him a question.

"Oh, um, yes," he stumbled.

"That wasn't really a yes or no question, Julian,"

"I'm sorry, could you repeat it?"

"I was asking what type of gagh you like best. My personal favorite is Bithool."

"Oh, yes. I like that one too - particularly when it's no longer... erm, alive." Julian said meekly.

Jadzia fought to keep herself from rolling her eyes at this. She knew it had been a bad idea to go for Klingon food with him. And she should have known that it was a bad idea to order gagh. Especially Bithool. Oh, Julian was not going to like this, was he? Breifly she thought about telling him what she'd ordered and asking him if he'd like to change it... But then, Jadzia realized she didn't particularly care. If he didn't want something he should have spoken up. They knew each other well enough for him to do that.

With a smirk on her face Jadzia sat back as the waiter brought their food. She smirked as she watched Julian freeze when he saw it. And she smirked when he tried not to scream as the gagh started to walk towards him.

Later she would smirk when she remembered how Julian had tried - and failed - to keep a straight face while eating it.

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I love reveiws more than gagh. Although that's not really saying much, is it?


	4. Our Lady of Perpetual Gagh

"Sisko?" Jadzia called out into the darkened room. She was in a bit of a hurry; it was Tongo night... And she was feeling lucky. "Computer, lights." she called out. When the lights came up a whole band of people were there to greet her. It was four years to the day that she'd been joined, which also meant that it had been four years since Curzon died. Benjamin probably still missed him.

The guests of the part dispersed throughout the room. Many came up to congratulate her, others went right to the food, so started talking to other guests. After about fifteen minutes of the party Sisko came up to her.

"I know it's not exactly traditional, but Curzon always liked to celebrate his joining day - I thought you might too," he said, a smile on his face.

"Thank you, Benjamin," she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"No, thank you, knowing how old you are makes me feel just that much younger!"

"You know, Benjamin, if I recall correctly, you're going to be turning forty soon... and, at least I don't look my age," she said with a laugh. Soon Benjamin had joined in the laughter.

"That reminds me, I got you gagh,"

"Oh Ben! You shouldn't have,"

"I know. I've had it for a week and it's been... breeding..."

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Love (and more gagh) to reviewers...


	5. The Glorious Gagh Hunt

"Argh!" O'Brien called out, causing Dax to almost jump from her post.

"Chief?" she queried, putting down the PADD she was reading and heading over.

"It's those bloody voles again, I know it! They're getting into the circuitry. They're a bloody menace," the chief growled.

Ah, voles. Jadzia was well aware of the infestation - and aware of it's effects on the workings of Deep Space Nine, not just from the chief - but because of a personal confrontation with one. Quark had been paying her a slip a latinum, when one had jumped onto the counter, scurried across and taken it.

Alas she also knew - from Curzon's memories - of another infestation that had caused malfunctions in machinery. Perhaps a story would help. Or, at the very least, distract him.

"You know chief, there's something worse than a vole infestation,"

"Ha!" he gave a hearty, though forced laugh.

"Gagh,"

"Gagh?" he repeated, making sure he'd heard her correctly.

"Yes. When Curzon was aboard a Klingon ship once they got loose. It took weeks to repair the damage - and months to get the gagh remains off the curcitry,"

"The circuitry?"

"Yes. They got burnt on it,"

"I wish the voles would get burned by circuitry," a silence followed as Jadzia allowed Miles to imagine hundreds of voles getting burnt to a healthy crisp.

"So, did you eat them?" he asked after a moment.

"No!" she said it horror, "We put them out the air lock. There's nothing worse than dead gagh,"

"... oh, yes. Of course..."

"We sang songs about teh glorious victory over the gagh,"

"I bet it rivaled the song of the great tribble hunt"

"Indeed," she assured him.

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Read and Reveiw (it makes you sexy. _very_ sexy)


	6. All is Fair in Love and Gagh

Jadzia Dax listened in on Quark as he exclaimed that she should not be cleaning out/fixing his replicator. It was ridiculous. She was perfectly fine cleaning it out - in fact it would have been almost dishonorable for her to not clean it out. Nog had done her a favor, now she was doing him a favor. Even though the favor she was doing was... a little gross, Jadzia felt it was worth it.

Nog, apparently, had a contact from Starfleet Academy. A Bolian ensign who was stationed near Qo'noS. Nog, on behalf of Jadzia, convinced his friend to obtain a very rare type of gagh. It had taken a few weeks to get and several more for it to arrive on the station, but Jadzia felt it was worth it. It was worth fix every single replicator on the whole station.

But why go through so much trouble to get a little bit of gagh? That was an easy question to answer: Worf's birthday was coming up. She was going to serve it on his birthday. It was his favorite type. She preferred Bithool, but it was not her birthday.

A smile on her face she continued to clear out Quark's drink replicator. She would request a black hole from him after she was done doing her job. Perhaps if she made a very sad face he would give it to her for free.

She had to stop herself from laughing. Like that would ever happen. Especially since she owed him two strips of latinum.

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Read and reveiw (and I'll love you!)


	7. A Good Day to Gagh Part 1

Jadzia Dax loved it when people spoke their minds. She could not honestly think of anything that was better to do. It was one of the many reasons she liked Betazoids so much - they weren't ones to mince the truth. However, Lwaxana Troi had taken truthfulness just a step too far in Jadzia's opinion.

Even the most social-inept person knew there was a difference between saying you weren't particularly fond of gagh and going on a ten minutes rant about how much you hate them. Yet, Lwaxana Troi had stepped over this very thick, dark and clear line. And Jadzia Dax was going to do something about it.

The only solution, as far as Jadzia could tell was to put gagh in Lwaxana's quarters. She was quite sue she could break in - after all she'd gotten into Odo's quarters numerous times to move his things around. Smiling to herself Jadzia slipped into Lwaxana's quarters and opened her pouch only to find the gagh had, apparently escaped. It could be devilishly smart sometimes. But wasn't that one of the reason she loved it?

She gave a little shrug and left Lwaxana's quarters. There would be another chance to gagh the women again. As she headed down the hallway she kept an eye out for any gagh - it would make a nice little snack.


	8. A Good Day to Gagh Part 2

So far Jadzia had not spotted any gagh. It was a shame, but she would live. Jadzia was only glad she hadn't gotten really good, fresh gagh. She didn't think she'd have been able to cope with loosing it if it were any good.

Suddenly a small yelp caught her attention. Springing into action Jadzia started sprinting towards where she'd heard the noise. Upon turning the corner she saw what was quite possible the most amazing thing she'd ever seen. She couldn't have been prouder of the gagh she'd bought.

They'd found their target.

They'd escaped and done what they were meant to do; find Lwaxana Troi and scare her and annoy her and to do anything to her. Because a line had been crossed. And Jadzia knew deep down - probably in the part of her that had once been Curzon - that when one line was crossed it was okay to cross the line again to teach a lesson. And that lesson was that gagh was a dish to be reckoned with, even if you were Lwaxana Troi daughter of the Fifth House of Betazed, the Holder of the Sacred Chalice of Rixx, and Heir to the Holy Rings of Betazed.

It made her think of the old saying - sometimes you're the Klingon, sometimes you're the gagh. Today she and the gagh were the Klingon. It was a great feeling.

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Read and Reveiw! (:


	9. Gagh: The Final Straw

Kira Neyrs was absolutely 100 certain that Jadzia Dax was insane. In the morning she would let Dr. Bashir and Commander Sisko know this fact - they would undoable have her friend shipped off to an asylum somewhere. Sure Kira would miss her friend, but she was doing what was best for Jadzia; sending her somewhere where she could get help. Lots and lots of help.

What had lead her to this conclusion? Many things really. There was, of course, the fact that she'd gone on a date with Boday, the gallamite. And Jadzia's love of the drink 'Black Hole'. And Jadzia having drank icoberry juice... again. Kira had had to help her to the infirmary - Jadzia's spots had been inching so much she could hardly walk.

But, alas what had finally done it, what had finally convinced Kira that Jadzia needed special care, was that Jadzia had set her up on a blind date at the Klingon restaurant.

True, Kira was a little conservative when it came to date locations, but this date had been ridiculous! It was absolutely impossible to have a conversation - much less remain composed and attractive - when you were trying to eat gagh.

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Reveiws much love.


	10. Gallamites and Gagh

Boday felt very, very lucky to be eating gagh right now. He never thought that he would have felt that way, after all, it was gagh. But as the old Gallamite saying went, "You'd have to have an opaque skull to judge the food over the company,". They had a lot of sayings along those lines - but this one was seemed particularly useful. It reminded him to always make sure he was seeing what the real issue was. It reminded him to focus on the good and not the bad.

There seemed to be a lot of that going on at the moment.

He had seen past the gagh - that squiggly gross gagh, and Jadzia had seen past his brain - the squiggly slimy brain.

In way, Boday supposed, the gagh was Jadzia' version's of his brain. Many people found gagh replusive, but it was a part of her and she accepted it and loved it. He briefly allowed himself to entertain the thought that she had gone out with him because his brains reminded her of gagh. Boday knew it wasn't true, and it made him smile to think that.

Boday didn't go on a lot of dates, much less with girls who looked like Jadzia. He knew he was the envy of every man in the Klingon restaurant. And that felt good - for once he wasn't the guy who's brains showed; he was the guy with the gorgeous girl who was eating gagh.

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Reviews make you awesome (all the cool kids are doing it).


	11. A Plethora of Gagh

"Jadzia, I do not see why this is necessary,"

She merely rolled her eyes and fell awkwardly on the couch, a PADD in her hand she was skimming her order form, just to make sure nothing was listening.

"They're in season Worf," she sighed, rolling her eyes once more. The list, thank goodness, was alphabetized If it weren't she would have been able to keep track of what she had or had not ordered.

"Yes," he started, but stopped, thinking about his words carefully. He knew that the survival storage space just outside their bedroom depended upon him stopping her, "Yes, but they are good even when they are out of season. Besides the Klingon restaurant will be ordering some too,"

Jadzia knew she could convince him... and if she couldn't, well, she was going to go ahead and order the gagh anyway.

"They don't get some of the types that I like," Jadzia responded.

"Jadzia, you like every type of gagh-"

"-Except Hi'Throk-"

"Except Hi'Throk. Jadzia, perhaps you can request that he order one or two extra varieties for you,"

"Or I can order them all myself and have whatever type I want whenever I want,"

"Jadzia..."

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Review please! :)


	12. Gagh: The Guilty Pleasure

Odo would never tell this to Jadzia, but he rather enjoyed morphing into gagh. There was something so… fun about it. Nothing compared to turning into a Tarkalean Hawk, of course, but he enjoyed creating the slime that went with gagh.

Jadzia had once asked him if he'd ever shifted into gagh. He'd said no in a definitive and sitff way. She didn't ever asked him again, and Odo took pleasure in his little secret.

Once Major Kira had walked into his office when he was gagh. She'd attempted to get rid of him, but he'd morphed before she did. Odo had made her swear to secrecy - he knew Jadzia would not let him live this down. True to her word Kira had kept the secret, though every time she saw Jadzia she felt the urge to blurt it out.

For a few months after the incident Odo didn't transform into gagh, but one night, in his quarters he decided to do it again. Unfortunately on that same night Jadzia was planning a covert mission. Believing Odo to be in the Cargo bay she'd snuck in and began rearranging furniture.

Odo had finally been caught… but the secret did not get out. Why? You may ask. I was simple. Odo, in exchange for Dax not telling anyone what she had seen, would move the furniture back himself. Odod kept his end of the bargain, Jadzia kept hers for the most part (although she did tell Major Kira, who feigned shock when the news was revealed).

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Reveiw please!


	13. Gambling with Garak and Gagh

Gagh. Garak had never had it. He'd never intended to. It was Gagh after all, and only a mad person could find it delicious. Unfortunately there were enough mad people abroad Deep Space Nine for the dish to be fairly common.

Oh course Garak had tried to bite his tongue, to let the gagh eaters go about their merry way. After all it was their right to eat gagh if they so desired, but Garak would never - ever, ever, ever - eat it himself.

Or so he thought.

It seemed that - unbeknownst to him - Jadzia Dax and Quark had moved on from tongo and other games into a new sort of entertainment. Gambling on Garak.

Jadzia had bet Quark he couldn't get Garak to drink root beer. She'd lost two strips of Latinum. Quark, the next day, had bet Jadzia that she couldn't get him to choose a table other than the one her normally sat at. Quark had lost three strips of Latinum.

But now, the game had gotten harder. With the stakes at Two Bars of Latinum - and a strict set of rules to prevent cheating - Jadzia Dax had undertaken what many believed to be an impossible task. Getting Garak to eat gagh. Jadzia did enjoy a challenge.

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Read and Reveiw! :)


	14. Gagh: Noun, Type of Klingon Food

"I know what you're thinking Worf - that it doesn't work. Well, it does. Try it. You'll see."

And with that Jadzia Dax closed her eyes, leaving Worf pondering her statement. Could it really be true? Could one really replace any noun on a sentence with gagh and have the sentence turn out coherent? He'd have to see tomorrow.

When Worf woke up that morning he headed out, ears open and listening for any sentence he might hear.

As he walked by the jumja stick stand: I like my jumja sticky. There's no other way to eat it.

…._I like my gagh sticky_… Hm. Perhaps Jadzia had been right after all.

As he walked by the chief: Oh no! the wires are fried. No good when they're fried….

Once again, Jadzia was right.

As he walked by Garak: The cloth was just so annoying! It would not stay in one place!

Three for three. Still it could have been a coincidence. Or perhaps she had put them up to it. Yet when almost every sentence he heard that day worked Worf realized that Jadzia could not have put people up to this. That evening when she asked him if he'd tried replacing nouns with the words gagh he shook his head and said it would be a silly waste of time.

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Read and Reveiw! :)


	15. I fought the gagh and the gagh won

Dislclaimer: I don't own ds9.

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I fought the gagh and the gagh won

Worf was ready for war. Armed with a phaser set on kill he set in for a battle that - he hoped - would restore honor to his quarters. After a three week long vacation he and Jadzia had arrived back at the station to find their quarters overrun with gagh. And not just any gagh. Hybrid gagh. It seemed that the several species of it Jadzia kept (would she listen when he suggested only getting a few types?) had bred. He now faced not the type of gagh won ate, but the type one fought.

It had grown to monumental proportions - over a foot and a half long - and had developed some sort of armor. A few of them had legs. They were everywhere - or so they assumed. They'd not entered their quarters, simply because the Gagh was not only disgusting but because it would have required walking through what had become a jungle. There was not telling what the mutant gagh was like - there was a distinct possibility they were poisonous. Jadzia had off handedly mention to his that one of the species of gagh was the poison type - you had to eat it then inject yourself it the antidote.

He had tried - and failed - to get her to take care of it. After all it was she who had bought the gagh. It was she who had not properly locked the cages. It was she who had left them enough food for an army. She had created it.

But if was not she who was going to take care of the mess she had caused. Instead she was enjoying a drink with Kira at Quarks and he was waiting for Julian to arrive with the antidote for the possibly poisonous gagh.

"I'm here!" came a muffled voice as Julian trotted up the Worf. He was wearing an environmental suit.

Worf looked him up and down.

"Why are you wearing that?" he practically growled.

"Oh, well, you know, just incase it's… really bad in there and the environmental controls are, gone. They might have adjusted them to suit their needs and -- all right!" Worf had been looking at him with his famous glare, "I don't like gagh," Julian admitted, cringing just at the very thought of it.

"You," Worf said slowly, "are not going in there. You do not need that suit,"

"On the contrary," Julian began. He went on for several minutes talking about the possibility of Worf being poisoned and he - Julian - having to wade through the gagh to come to his rescue.

"I hardly think that a little gagh will be able to bring me down. I am a klingon,"

"Well, you never know. It might kill you," Julian was a bit too happy about their prospect, "Ah, but it is a good die to die… isn't it?" he added on timidly.

"No. It is not a good day to die. Not until I have restored honor to these quarters,"

With that Worf entered the quarters, leaving Julian half trebling as he set up a forcefield. He needed to watch Worf, but there was no way he was going to let the gagh spill out in the hallway.

Over the next few hours Worf would continue his fight to restore honor to the quarters. Several visitors would stop by to watch the spectacle, safely behind the forcefield.

During the fourth hour of the war Jadzia stopped by.

"How's he doing?" she asked Julian, who'd taken off the helmet of the Environmental suit.

"Not very well, I'm afraid. He's only gotten as far as the replicator. Seems there are more of them than we thought…"

After a moments paused Jadzia shook her head.

"I don't know why we couldn't just be a Baryon sweep. It would take care of all this…"

"Jadzia! Killing Worf with a baryon sweep wouldn't sovle any problems you may have! If you were feeling this way-"

"Julian! I meant that we'd do a Baryon sweep when he wasn't in there. Just the Gagh."

"Oh, right."

They paused looking at Worf for a moment who turned around, with a look of terror in his eyes.

"Lower the forcefeild!" he shouted before falling to the ground. Panicking Julian began to put on his helmet, but before he could, the force field had been lowered and Jadzia had run through gagh to get to Worf. With some handy work of the hypospary she had rescued Worf and helped him out.

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"You should have let me die in battle,"

"Worf, that gagh was very vicious. It's okay that you couldn't get rid of it,"

"I did not restore honor to our quarters,"

"That's okay. I did. With a Baryon sweep,"

"That is not restoring honor,"

"Well, it did the job, Worf,"

"Unlike me,"

"Just let it drop,"

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Read and Reveiw! Sorry for the lack of updating-ness.

By the way, if you're interested I've come across a star trek RPg that's a little different from other ones, in terms of format. You should check it out. It takes place right after the dominion war. Remove the spaces. Duh. Also there's an underscore between 2376 and RPG (it just won't let me put it...)

z4.invisionfree. com/2376 RPG


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